The Year That Was. . .

Wow! What a year it has been...! Time really flies... doesn't it?! I mean I still clearly remember what I did last new year's eve and within a blink of an eye, a whole year has passed...! I mean gimme a break, man! Are times really going so fast or am I the only one feeling this way?
As we'are just a day away from welcoming a new year, let's just take a pause and rewind to the year that was....I mean it sure was eventful... I'm going to list down a few highlights of the year, which have affected the lives of millions across the globe....

First and foremost, is the death of Osama Bin Laden.. The famed and much celebrated leader of the Al-Qaida was finally hunted down by American troops... His death restored peace and justice to people all over the world, yes it is cruel to celebrate someone's death, but at the end of the day, What goes around, Comes back around, right!?

2011 was a special year for some of the African countries like Egypt, Libya, etc who saw the end of decades of dictatorship... It saw the fall of many powerful leaders and rise of the 'Common Man'. This year has been a landmark year for, it saw the independence and evolution of people, from being ruled to become the rulers of democracy!

This year saw one of the biggest anti-corruption movements of the world, witnessed in India, led by a Gandhian called Anna Hazare... The world is left awestruck when the largest democracy in the world carries dour such a big movement against its politicians and it's political system..! It was indeed a year to be ear-marked as the year, when the first war against corruption was fought...!

In the sporting world, one of the big things was Formula One racing making its pit stop in India... The innaugral Indian GP at the world class Buddh International Circuit, was a massive success and it showed the world, that India is ready for the big stage...! Truly, it was an emotional or rather proud moment for all Indians around the world...


India was on the place to be this year, with international Music greats having gigs around the country... The Legendary rock band Metallica, paid a final frontier visit to India, and drove the country mad with their ever green hits... Apart from Metallica, Prodigy, Karnivool, Lady gaga, Pitbull and many other international stars made the country dance to their tunes in 2011..! 

An obvious highlight that most of us would have noticed is the death of many celebrated people around the world... 2011 claimed the lives of one too many.. I dont know, but it was something very mysterious, that legends were falling one after another... It was a year that saw immortals like Joe Frazier, Steve Jobs, Jagjit Singh, Amy Winehouse, Shammi Kapoor , Elizabeth Taylor, Dev Anand and many more, bound to the chains of mortality...

On the contrary, 2011 also saw many celebrities becoming proud parents, the most anticipated and talked about baby being 'Beti B'.. I wish all the lucky parents congratulations and hope their babies grow hail and hearty and someday make them proud..! It almost seemed as if the legends gave way to see the birth of these lovely little ones..!

On a personal front, the year was quite disapponiting for me.. It has been a year of heart breaks... Firstly, I couldnt accomplish my goal, I had worked so hard for.. I had given my all into something so important for me academically and professionally, but in the end i was left wanting for a little more.. Some call it fate, some call it Karma, I say, maybe a little more efforts from my side...! And secondly, a beautiful 2-year relation with a special girl came to an abrupt end, leaving me with scars that are still healing... Heart aches which are still paining and Memories which refuse to fade...

Well, what this year has taught is that, anything can happen anytime... you never know what is gonna happen tomorrow.. One fine day everything seems all right, and then all hell breaks loose within a matter of days.. that has been the story of 2011.. So don't postpone anything for tomorrow, you have to do it, the time is now... Life is not about the number of breaths you take, it is about the moments that take your breathe away.... So let yourself go.. life, death, happiness, sadness, worries sorrows, joy, grief, defeat are all part of life.... Life is not fair, but still it is beautiful..

I wish everyone a Happy New Year, hope this new year brings in new joy and happiness to your lives.. Learn from the past, and make the present a happy jouney.... After all, one life, why give others a chance to rule it....!!

Losing My Religion.

Religion? well, when people hear this word, the first thing that flashes in their head is GOD.. Religion, after all, is a man made set of rules to be followed if u worship a particular person, or a divine figure, some call them God, some prophets, some they just call him a savior... So, GOD? who is he after all?? where is he?? 


I am born and brought up in a Tamil Bhramin family. By nature my parents are very religious, very spiritual, and very methodical and precise while doing their daily poojas to the periodical havans (a ritual using fire) and donations to temples and places of god's worship.. Naturally, they have inculcated this virtue in me as well.. And being an obedient boy, i have always accepted what ever they want me to learn n practice. So this childhood habit has become a value for life for me.


But, i always thought to myself, what the world would have been, if the boundaries of religion not existed.. Countless people have died and millions are still  fighting over this limitless boundary called Religion and God.. When all that religion says is Love one and all.. Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Allah, all came to this land, and all of them got the message of love..Yet, fanatics spread terror in the name of God. 


Sometimes i wonder, how many lives would have been saved and how many could have lived another day, had God not Existed at all....?!!! i also think, is God blind to all the misery in  the world.. 25000 people dying of hunger EVERYDAY in the world..! what is God doing??? the so called 'cursed' land of japan, Tsunamis and earthquakes have claimed billions and billions of lives there.. The nuclear bombing on Hiroshima Nagasaki, killed not only a million people, but also deformed their  future generations. In India, more than half the population is below the poverty line. People are so poor, they have to eat their own feces for a meal..how pitiful is that Innumerable suicides, babies, infants, being killed, women being raped, child killing his mother, mother murdering her daughter, countless divorces.. Now tell me,  WHERE IS GOD??????????????????


Every morning the headline of a tabloid is corruption, arrest, rape,death,loss in business etc... i don't even remember, when was the last time i read something happy or that brought a smile to my face in morning headline. corrupt government officials who loot the general public, the gangsters and burglars who roam the streets, the bureaucrats and politicians who cheat people to accumulate their personal assets, the terrorists causing mayhem are all living life king size...! is this your GOD????????? 


Give all that u can, to the biggest scoundrels, let them live their lives so royally and on the other hand, give nothing but more and more pain and suffering to the poor and modest class.... Even if these rascals are brought to justice some time in the future, they have already lived their lives so happily, any punishment would look small for them, on the contrary, the other class of people, they would be praying to never take birth in this planet with  such a cruel God.. 

I being so religious from childhood, and a strong believer in god, needed his help or rather his grace in a defining moment in my life... And guess what, God was apparently  absent that day... The land beneath my feet slipped...i was in a state of complete shock... in my conversation with God, i told him,"i gave u all that i had, believed in you, worshiped you,never lost faith in you, then why didn't you help me??" i never got an answer from him..! And since that day, i have been losing my faith in him... i am losing my religion...! I want a few answers to my questions....

People say, whatever is to happen will happen.. it is not in our hands etc...well, i don't really understand, what good in this misery? can the world get any worse?? will the sun ever rise in this world?? Will i get what i deserve? will the world be a better place? will our children too suffer the same fate?? If there is any God up there.... ANSWER ME..!!!!!!!

The Last Night!

August 8, 2010 (Sunday)

11.30pm
I was angry with him over a petty issue. He came home late from his friend's place & I was waiting for him. I gave him blunt replies for everything that he asked me. We spoke to mom over the phone before sleeping, she was in Jaipur for her office trip. After talking to her, we went to sleep...

August 9, 2010 (Monday)

1.00am
I thought he was snoring, but it sounded very unusual. I woke him up & asked him to sleep properly. There was silence for a few seconds & it started again. It was something weird. I put on the lights & saw him gasping. He was struggling to breathe. He put all his fingers in his mouth to open it, so that he could breathe. He was in pain & sweating a lot. And I panicked. I got him a glass of chilled water, he didn't drink it. He was unconscious. I wiped his face with a napkin, trying to be calm. But deep inside, I was scared just like anyone else of my age would be. I felt helpless. All I could think at that time was to inform my mom about it. She further informed her brother & in-laws.

But he shut his eyes. His body was cold & pale. He stopped breathing. It was over, within a few minutes my world came crashing down. MY FATHER WAS DEAD! He was lying dead right in front of me & I was sitting helpless next to him.

1.30am
My relatives came over. But it was too late for anything to be done at that time. I knew it was over, but I was still hoping for a miracle.

2.00am
My relatives & dad's friends took him to the hospital for a shock treatment. Its been an hour since he died. Everyone knew how much we loved each other. He loved me more than his wife. No one wanted to confirm the news to me, but I was adamant to know.

2.30am
Everyone returned home silent! Then came his body. I felt my soul died. My life came to a standstill. I couldn't imagine a day without seeing/talking to him. Spending the rest of my life without him was like living an aimless life.


Since that day my world turned upside-down. Nothing seemed to be right. I still search for the same love & affection. I miss him a lot & no

one can replace him ever. . .