The Ideal Relationship

A boy’s love is expressed differently from that of a girl.. and no I am not talking about just the dubbed love-love relationship between a boy and a girl.. This is bigger.. This is about the love and affection between friends.. between best friends…

If girls could really grasp this fact, relationships all over the world would improve. What happens in most cases is that the girls show they love in warm, mushy ways. They talk…, they share everything (or at least as much as the boy will tolerate listening to), they provide nurture and support. But boys are very different and you know this already.

The problem is the female species have spent centuries judging the males for love instead of receiving it as the display of love it is. So when the boy gets past the courting phase, becomes solidly committed to the relationship, and the display of affection or compliments begin to fade, then the girls join the legion of sisters who complain either with humor or bitterly about how he just doesn’t measure up to the ideal of what their real boy is…

Let me tell you, at this point the relationship is in danger of ending and it ain’t the boy’s fault! To explain my claims let me share how the real boy loves and see if you can’t begin to look at him through a kinder lens and a heart warmed by just how very much he actually does let you know he loves you.

There are three ways a boy clearly and definitively shows his love and affection. The first thing the boy does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he professes who you are in his life. He calls you as someone who he posses really close to himself…He calls you in a special way….with his words and with his body language. You can see it in the eyes and body language of the folks in his world you are introduced to. You see that spark of recognition that you are different from the other girls he has introduced his friends too… His claim on you is obvious.

The second thing the boy does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he provides for you. Now, not every man has the  means to buy you expensive things, but to the degree he is able, he will provide for you. One simple example is if you have trouble and ask him for help, he will do everything within his power to assist you in getting it fixed. The boy might be able to resolve the problem entirely… while the other might be able to fix a few things… But nevertheless you should know that the real boy in love wants to provide for you by all his ability and means… Everyday might not produce a perfect conversation or outing, but in any way he sees he can provide for you and is able, he will.

The third thing a real boy does when he is head over heals in love is he protects. No one is allowed to hurt, insult, or disrespect the girl. He will not be able to tolerate her life or her spirit being in danger. and In my own experience, I have observed two important things about a man’s desire to protect his woman. The first is that he will attempt to protect her from herself. This is why a man can become infuriated with some of the choices the woman makes because, as a man with his logical thinking, he could have told her this or that choice would be a big mistake. How could she have put the woman he loves most in the whole world (herself) in harm’s way? 

The other thing I have observed is that a real man in love will sacrifice himself to protect you from himself, if you require it. If you cannot abide him being who he is, expressing himself as a man, he will shrink inside, becoming less effective as a lover and as a partner as he attempts to protect you in the way you say you must be protected. He will not do this indefinitely. At some point, the pressure to express himself as a man will pop and you will lose him. One way or another you will lose him. However, if you find you are no longer invested in exploring the marvelous mystery he is, you might take a look at whether or not you really love him. Because asking him to stifle his masculinity is the beginning of the end….